A Night Of Wanting and Confusion
by foreverintheunknown17
Summary: Loosly based off 4x16. This is "A NIght For Disobedience" in Anna's Point of view. With just recently getting her wings back Anna has to keep her emotions in check. But that seems nearly impossible when it comes to a certain angel named Castiel.


Hey everyone, I'm back! I always think its funny how I always "disappear" for months at a time and then BANG I come back with a story. Sorry if I sound odd, I just think it's really funny. But this story just came to me out of nowhere; I swear it just crept up on me. I was just going through my stories and then I came across "A Night For Disobedience" and then it hit me, WHY DON'T YOU WRITE THE STORY IN ANNA'S POINT OF VIEW?!?! Then I just got really excited and started to write. Oh my gosh look at me going on and on boring you like this. Ok I'll shut up and give you guys the story. Enjoy!

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Anna was sitting in a random field meditating; she always liked to do that whenever she had a free moment. It helped her clear her mind for the time being and just relax and just get away from the word that was slowly falling into a nasty apocalypse. After learning that some of her own brothers and sisters were joining Lucifer's side pained her in a great way. How could they try to end God's greatest creations besides angels, humans? It just confused her to no end. Another thing that was confusing her was her so-called friendship with Castiel. He was a very complex person, even for an angel. He was a fierce warrior but when it came to other things he had not a single clue. When she tried to comfort him when he was starting to have his doubts he just pushed her away. It didn't really sit well with her. She was just starting to admit that she was beginning to have a soft spot for the angel but she knew she could never act upon it, she just got her wings back and she wasn't going to lose them. Then out of nowhere she started to feel someone call out to her.

"_Anna…_" She immediately recognized it as Castiel's voice. Then she transported herself to where his grace was coming from. (A perk of being an angel) When she got to what looked like a hotel room she was currently standing behind him.

"What is it you need Castiel?" She asked.

He turned around and just looked at her for a minute, if she didn't know any better she would of said that he was just taking her in.

"I needed to speak to you about something." He said in his normal voice but something was off about it to her.

"And what would that be?" She was genuinely curious now to why he called to her.

"About me feeling doubt and these other emotions I have spoken to you about the other night." Castiel said uneasily.

"I see. Continue."

"I thought at first it was because I have been hanging around to many humans lately, but somehow I realized it has been building up for a while now. I wanted to deny it as much as I could but after I talked to you I realized that it couldn't be denied any longer. I feel the need to be disobedient. But a different kind." He said looking relieved. It gave her some happiness that he trusted her enough that he can open up to her.

"Its good that you want to embrace on being disobedient but that's really out of character for you Cas. What changed?" She really wanted to know what brought this on.

"When you told me to start thinking for myself. I had what the humans call a reality check. And you know how being disobedient makes me feel?" He was now walking towards her.

"How?" She had a really good feeling on where this was going. And she probably wasn't going to stop him either.

"Sinful." And with that he kissed her. She had to say; even though she never really kissed a lot of people even when she was human this was probably the best kiss she ever received.

She broke the kiss and just looked at him, she had to say that kiss even though they were just lip-locked made her breathless.

"I'm sorry Anna that was very inappropriate." Cas said trying to catch his breath.

"It's ok Cas." She said the same way he did.

"I don't understand, I thought after doing that the feeling would stop. But now I feel the need to do it again. Why?" Anyone could tell that he was very confused.

"That's an emotion called desire." Anna said trying to explain what was going on right now.

"Would you mind if I did it again?" He asked, always the clueless gentlemen.

"I wouldn't mind." She was telling the truth, she really didn't mind. She has wanted this for a little while.

He leaned down again and pressed his lips to hers, they were lip-locked for a little while then he wrapped his hands around her waist and she did the same way to his neck. For someone who has probably never kissed anyone before he was pretty good at this. She was pretty impressed. Then he broke the kiss and looked at her for a second.

"I think I know what happens next but that would be going against everything I believe in."

"Why don't we just dedicate this night for being disobedient?" She said invitingly.

"That actually sounds very nice." He said with an excitement in his eyes.

Then he kissed her again and it was better then the last she thought to herself. It was starting to get intense so she decided to pick up the pace. She got to his coat and took it off of him and tossed it aside. The feeling that was going through her was nothing she ever experienced before she couldn't help but mumble his name.

"Castiel…" He seemed to be excited when she did that and before she knew it she was pushed onto the bed.

An hour had gone by, it was the best thing she ever had done in her very long life. But she knew that this could never happen again. And it pained her in a big way. She turned over to him and said the thing she really didn't want to say,

"You do realize this can never happen again."

"I know. It was what you called a night of being disobedient. I understand." Cas said in a sort of pained way.

She got off the bed and dressed herself quickly hoping she could just get out of there. But she knew she just couldn't leave like that. She knew she had to be at least kind with the whole situation. So she faced him and noticed he was dressed as well and said to him,

"Castiel I hope that this has cleared the…. concerns you have been having with your emotions."

That look of lust and a quick glance of pain came over him, she could just tell but she knew he was trying to hide it. And it saddened her that she was the cause for this pain.

"It has. Thank you Anna. But I was wondering if I could have just one more kiss." He said with a questionable look. She was smiling on the inside, she wanted to scream of course he could but she had to keep up her appearances.

"That sounds reasonable." With that she stood on her tiptoes and gave him a gentle kiss. "Good-bye for now Castiel." And then she was gone.

She went back to that field she was at earlier that night and was basically shocked, she could barely move. She finally got what she wanted and she wanted more but she realized that she couldn't. She would not risk her or Castiel's wings. Like she said it was a night for disobedience.

But she so wanted it to be much more…

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Ok wow, that was so much fun to write!!! I always love writing because it lets me vent on everything. Well I'm not going to make this author's note long but now that I have wrote this I might be considering making this idea into a full story…who knows. But anyway please review!


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